the truth.
dear diary,
i wonder what am i thinking now..i just finish watching "a shark's tale" with my mates...well after the show i just hit back to my room..its this feeling again..when im feeling like this i can hardly talk to people..its just so down..ok diary i admit im lonely...ching asked me whether im studying master...well i said i dont know..by looking at the way she ask it i can tell something...diary can a person like me change? i am not worthy. do i need to face the fact that maybe i need someone in my life? someone who i can share my secrets? or even love? or someone who i can call my baby kins, my hunny bun, my sweetie pie...the question is am i ready? i'm thinking hard..i need another year here main thing is to serve god and another thing is to make my father happy..his old, non of his children go for overseas like me well theres only jason and josephine among all his wifes.
the feelings i had before is attach to it. im really scared of failing again..like what happened to me before.. things hasnt change yet. but i am close..in fact im already done with it.. was has pass is the pass..i hate starting things all over again.. it is really hard to start. chris you need to start a new life.. go and find someone, appreciate your life. question is how? and who? will i go on northumberland and find a girl like " hi my name is chris, whats yours? how old are you ? yadayadayada" its like doing a survey for fish sake!. yea i was thinking of removing my tattoos..it scares everyone away especially girls lol but its too expensive.. its like 98 GBP per month and i have to consult them like 10 times *faints*. i wonder what am i mumbling about.. it like hfhfhfh! complaning complaning none stop.. didnt god gave you enough chris? dint he bring you back to the right path..did he not gave you more then enough money to spend...my bad, i shouldnt complain..i seriously miss arister, kar cyhi, bong, khai, chai and etc..to be honest i miss malaysia...ohh and i miss hopey too haha..i read your diary yea and stop calling me christine..i bet everyone u miss in your entry is a guy..but their names are modified to a girlie name?!?
well basically nothing much for today..all i do is sit at home revising for java but i still dont get it..my brain's screwed up..i think i took too much of those things, well it has been 5 months out of 3 years since i touch those things and i really thank to god..well im ebit relief now *farts* lol. ill be praying to god about this..its not really important tho but the mood just came after watching a show gosh..makes me feel like killing myself..i got alot to write but ill save it for tmr k diary..need to go read other people's entry now toodles. how i wish your alive :D
i wonder what am i thinking now..i just finish watching "a shark's tale" with my mates...well after the show i just hit back to my room..its this feeling again..when im feeling like this i can hardly talk to people..its just so down..ok diary i admit im lonely...ching asked me whether im studying master...well i said i dont know..by looking at the way she ask it i can tell something...diary can a person like me change? i am not worthy. do i need to face the fact that maybe i need someone in my life? someone who i can share my secrets? or even love? or someone who i can call my baby kins, my hunny bun, my sweetie pie...the question is am i ready? i'm thinking hard..i need another year here main thing is to serve god and another thing is to make my father happy..his old, non of his children go for overseas like me well theres only jason and josephine among all his wifes.
the feelings i had before is attach to it. im really scared of failing again..like what happened to me before.. things hasnt change yet. but i am close..in fact im already done with it.. was has pass is the pass..i hate starting things all over again.. it is really hard to start. chris you need to start a new life.. go and find someone, appreciate your life. question is how? and who? will i go on northumberland and find a girl like " hi my name is chris, whats yours? how old are you ? yadayadayada" its like doing a survey for fish sake!. yea i was thinking of removing my tattoos..it scares everyone away especially girls lol but its too expensive.. its like 98 GBP per month and i have to consult them like 10 times *faints*. i wonder what am i mumbling about.. it like hfhfhfh! complaning complaning none stop.. didnt god gave you enough chris? dint he bring you back to the right path..did he not gave you more then enough money to spend...my bad, i shouldnt complain..i seriously miss arister, kar cyhi, bong, khai, chai and etc..to be honest i miss malaysia...ohh and i miss hopey too haha..i read your diary yea and stop calling me christine..i bet everyone u miss in your entry is a guy..but their names are modified to a girlie name?!?
well basically nothing much for today..all i do is sit at home revising for java but i still dont get it..my brain's screwed up..i think i took too much of those things, well it has been 5 months out of 3 years since i touch those things and i really thank to god..well im ebit relief now *farts* lol. ill be praying to god about this..its not really important tho but the mood just came after watching a show gosh..makes me feel like killing myself..i got alot to write but ill save it for tmr k diary..need to go read other people's entry now toodles. how i wish your alive :D
posted by Gaara at 7:43 AM
2 Comments:
hey chrisSY~~!, think if u call your girlfriend baby kins hunny bun sweetie pie u'll scare her away la!!! ahhaah no la, mebbe some girls like ;) but hey, i think that u don't have to worry about going to northumberland street to do a survey to find girls la heheh.. just be yourself, build yourself up in the lord (i don't mean gym kayyy haha) n leave the rest to Him!! u've come a long way man... n i'm so proud of you. and hey don't waste money getting rid of the tattoo la.. it's not that bad wat, mebbe your hunny bun may like it ;) u never know! nways i'm sure jesus is saying WAY TO GO CHRISSY! ok, mebbe He doesn't call you chrissy. keep on the path of righteousness!!!
aiya.. its just a calling only not that i call em in real life -_-;.. just a word to express *something*
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