sigh

Hello diary...It's been a long time since I have wrote anything to myself or anyone. My biggest problem will be miss spelled words and missing words all together. And I tend to babble on & on & U get the pic, right? You'll see. Just fill in the blanks with your best jugdement. So lately its felt like everything has been going wrong (assignment). I’m tired to the point of dizziness all day, then can’t sleep when I lie down. It feels like everything stressful in my life has been magnified. I am stressed to the point of breaking…of just throwing my head back and shouting! I’ve felt like this for the day and I just couldn’t figure out why. But I am glad that christmas retreat is just a few days ahead and I am glad that for this christmas, i can actually spend my time with my christian friends..Well, I think I've matured a lot since last year. Last year at Christmas it was all about me, but this year I feel it's more about my friends. I want to make others happy. I don't know what on earth's got into me. It's sort of creepy. Sure I'm still happy to be getting presents, who isnt?..well i think its just god's work and im glad in this state.

Anyway. i'm having a dilemma with people who lie to me. I've come to realize that these people are only lying because they are too naive to know that what they're saying isn't true. in the mean time judging others is also wrong. I think part of this is because they never tried to succeed in their life and think that life is lets-have-fun-all-the-time. I feel that there's more to life than what we think of as love and relationships etc. There's more to life than that, and if you feel empty inside, then that's why. People are put on earth to help other people, and if you're not doing that in one way or another, and not just in your family, then you're missing out on happiness. and if you're not striving for goodness or making a try to get out there and live, then what are you doing here? bleah me and my thoughts.. guitar time! or talking time! ugh takecare diary.