tipsy *blush*

dear diary,
gosh.. im tipsy another 6% more and im drunk..it was jays bday so yeah.. there goes for celebration..i think this is my limit..im not letting myself drink anymore..if so ill have a beer belly lol.. urgh well let me see..i shalt talk bout yesterday.. cant remember what time i woke up but.. i remembered playing ping pong with daniel boy that fella is good.. remember how great i said i was in ping pong? lol now my title and fame got owned by "daniel" *cries*..well need to move on.. *after pausing for 3 hours* yeah.. ivan and siong ee was there too.. well i somehow felt glad when i see them dont know why.. i think their from mandrin cell group which is really cool that they finally find god as their saviour.. well i dont really like them last time because they are really self centered but i guess i shalt let it go..forgive is the right choice.. aniways after sports i drag my fat ass back home..played guitar for a while.. i dont know why i have the habit of playing guitar right after i come home.. it think it goes from the generation..u know before a person become a superstar.. first the got obssessed with guitar..whenever they hit home they play guitar and then slowly they write their own songs and walla! there you go a superstar.. im not suprise!! god please humble myself..

after making the noise, i hit shower hehe woo i think this is the first time i mentioned about shower..for your info cy i do take my bath..i just dont do the " 1 hour thingy" like girls do in the bath room..gosh i didnt mean it.. afta showah i hit mins place * remember i told u i was on the way?.. that was after my showah muahah* my bad im just trying to be funny.. well to be honest it was really a great dinner, and yet really nice friends to hang out with especially leo, law etc..just thank god i had such friends *bounces around with joy*..anyways after that i hit back home, visit vinci n derrick for a while then to me room.. went online do a lil bit of chit chat.. well of course before that guitar!! superstar thingy remember!! yeah that was about it..

today was great i mean.. i woke up late for church i think it was 10:30..thanx cheryl yea and i know it was suppose to be the other way around but the alarm just dont seem to work!!! my bad forgive mua..well yea theres this elder i dont know his name but i know his wifes name alice are going to open a hall to occupy people for their CG aniways we were told to pray first to god and after god's decision, donation will be made next week...should i or not donate diary? *still thinkin* sermon today was about prayer.. "WHEN YOU PRAY PLS DO NOT MAKE IT AS A HABIT OR DUTY TO PRAY BUT PLEASE PRAY WITH FAITH YOU CAN EVEN TELL THE MOUNTAIN TO FLY IF YOU HAVE FAITH"..wow really need to work that out ..our brain tells us that its actually by faith but most of em are habit erk for me hehe well i dunno la i dont know myself well.. church end with a lil bit of worship then im off to BK for lunch with the same bunch.. then hit eldon square erk actually i say shopping la but to u know walk a lil bit after so much of food..then went back home then then ohh yea guess woot? im playing back helbreath but not that addicted to it anymore unless frens are on.. but heck with the game! say no to helbreath!! then go drink lo since it jays bday then the END gosh i really got the word "then" in this entry and then toodles..

IT IS DONE!

dear diary,
phew what a stressful week for me, yeah! i finished my assignment! but still have to catch up with other assignments! darn! why am i talking about assignments all the time..okie i have this friend..i shall not mention his name.. but i really pity him yesterday ive been thinking the problems his going trough.. imagine a guy who loves a girl so much that he decided to study with this girl here in newc.. his parents cant actually afford him here but since his parents know how much he love this girl.. they sold their property like house etc..yeah im not joking its true..so he was really happy he thought of staying with the girl.. taking care of her etc.. but as soon as he landed in newc.. the girl werent really happy seeing him..maybe shes really tired NVM.. then a few days later during her bday...when the girl is i dont know maybe drunk.. confessed to him that he dont love him anymore..btw that girl is my classmate....i was like if u dont love him anymore u should tell him from the very beginning right..so all the struggling happened no sleep etc..so one day he saw me, knowing that he saw me during her bday.. he say " hey man, i really dont have friend here, can you be my friend?"i was stone..by lookin at his face i can see problems.. knowing that his her bf i said "sure..ill show u around" that time i was with vinci.. so we showed him around..okie i shall cut the crap short im telling the whole story..

AND then.. yeah he told me all these story etc.. i really felt sorry for him..even tho it sounds gay but heck cares..so i told him the problems i had after coming here.. i was really down too like him..i stay away from girls as much as i can try not to stick togather with them because i know im still in my own misery..but as time goes jesus heals me bit by bit by keeping me busy.. telling me his good news about how to live a life..how much i miss "" but i still have to move on..but yeah im fine now thank god...so i consult him etc..and then when i got home, he sent sms to me saying " i thank god, he sent me an angel like you" i was like uhm.. okie.. ehehe an angel with tattoo on the right hand..then theres this feeling god gave me its like you see chris..you arent that bad at all.. thats because i always think that im unworthy to god..but his always there forgiving my sins.. man i really dont know wheres this going..so yeah yesterday at CF a few guest was invited to talk about missionary..then we went to this christian shop called CLC!! and guess woot? Brian gave me a free poster of "the passion of christ"!!! *bounces around in joy*. you know when i reflect back to my oldie life.. i go shops like "house of condoms", tattoo shops etc..but when i realise that i was in a christian shop.. it gives me this feeling that im already leaving my past behind..im living with everything called "christian" now...i just wonder when can i completely change into a new me! well after CLC i went back home..they was waiting for me..to drink again..im like darn big tummy! not good so yea all was drunk and went to bed..cos im lazy to write..wahh today's entry is ebit lousy dunno why.. i shalt go and play badminton now!!!!!!!

aching!

dear diary,
very suprising that i woke up at 11 due to my stomach, i have to idle in the toilet for about 20 mins ahh everythings out now..its really cold these days when i woke up i feel the shiver in my body thats because ive not been wearing enough clothes..but normally my body can generate the heat from my FATS..hehe to conclude everything, why isnt my body not generating fat from my body? because i have less fat weeeee! gah trying to make myself feel better again..im suffering from fatphobia..mr derrick is landing at 9 am tomorrow..yea the guy without any worries..the guy who says YES to almost everything accept money la..and today cynthia's friend is landing to newcastle..which means she has to sleep with her and which means vinci have to sleep with me...then the next day when derrick arrive.. vinci and him has to sleep with me..gosh im so loving!!!..bare in mind chris the lord told you to love your friends as yourself..THUS, assignment is really getting over me..its like my first love lol day and night i think about it..i cant endure it anymore!! im going nuts.. lol i remembered when i was gonna fall asleep yesterday..i can hear vinci saying "aah!! $(#@@)$)$#)" all the top 10 vulgar coming out...no wonder he hit my place, his afraid of waking his wifey up lol.. then what about me ? -_-;;

yesterday was pretty cool..hit munchies because we ran out of ciggy during on the way back.. ahem i saw a couple of drunk girls err..when they saw us they turn around and shake their bonbon without anything just bonbon..my first time getting flash lol by girls, wasnt really bothered tho.. but yeah it was something new. read bible, vinci was busy cursing on the assignments..then i fell asleep..see theres nothing really much to write if submittion date is near..ohh yeah darn i forget! ive got guitar class today.. should i or not go...somemore tomorrow got supervisor meeting.. have to complete the things i promised her darn!! assignment + report = hell. ahh whats the use of complaning me shall see u in the next reunion diary, t00dl3s.

buffer overflowed.

dear diary,
just came back from vinci's place, supposed to analyse a video based on our assignments but i guess tv show just took us through the night. gosh my brain aint workin or shall i say it is not in function..ahh suddenly i miss gina hehe my cute lil hammie.. i wonder how is she doing right now..well i hand it over to eric, but his always telling me gina's ok la.. doing fine, making more babies..gina likes to hump around other hammies i wonder why..its like the moment i put other hamster in she'll start humping.. im like "YOU PERVERT! LEAVE HIM ALONE" ohh well she only listens to me.. lol i still remember when she had her first born..gina's a sadist she ate her first born and still felt happy about it.. shes like "gosh..hey look i just born my baby out, and now look shes back in my tummy!"..like the biscut advert "now u see, now u dont"..shes crazy!!

okie now lets talk about me! uh guess woot.. theres nothing much about meee..chris is a boring guy..which talk alot of nonsense..he is also fat..etc.. today just that i ate alot today.. ohh yeah we had late supper today.. and guess woot we had? Fried Curry noodles! it was really yummy and spicy.. thanks to vinci i have mucus in my noseee now but it was a great supper i really miss eating with them..brains really not working but really wanna write.. shall continue tomorrow then..imma go cuddle under me duvet now toodles..

what a day!

dear diary, today is such a wonderful day for me, its like when god takes out two box in my life, black (with hole) and white boxes it is.. he told me to put my sorrows in the black one and joy in the white one..then a while later he told me to open up the black box, which i saw nothing in it.. and when i opened up the white box joy kept pouring out..so i asked him what happened to the black box where all my sorrow go? he said chris.. all your sorrow is with me and the white one is for you to count your blessing..for what ive been trough these past few weeks is full of blessing full of attention from him.. its like god had spent a lil more time on me..well im so comfy now, im relief he put my heart in ease..*smile*..therefore i gotta keep singing.. i gotta keep praising your name, your the one thats keeping my heart beating.. woke up around uhm 10:30 skipped class again hehe 9 am class hehe.. well at least i went for the 12 oclock's seminar! yea i admit i sleep like pig! well i couldnt remember what i was doing i was like so busy but i dint do anything productive today..oh yeah i hit eldon square cos sur has to signup for his new phone, which vinci they all call it the motorola razor v3 gang.. the gang consist of 5 person in a group excluding me haha im so glad!.. i belong to jesus! well i dont know why on earth ive been smiling to people today they think i was crazy but heck aku tak kuasa! yeah after that i was glad cos i can go to gym its like *ahhh* NO PAIN NO GAIN! lol thats what my gym instructor told refering back to him, i miss all my gym members..full of fun!! full of concerntration and full of funny nonsense!! thus, yeah i work on my chest and tricep today.. aiyo im like a girl.. carry so light weight while others are doing 2x heavier then me..was thinking back about what bong said to me.. he say that my body have a shape of a girl therefore weight is problem for me.. he say my bone was too small for the weight bleah whatever..thus, me and sur hit munchies *yay* eating time! knowing that i was late for CF, i finish my food quickly and head straight home.. while running trough the corridor, i noticed the bathroom was occupied im like damn!!! im late man!! around that time must be samantha..got alot of business to do in the toilet -_-;; so i washed my face in the kitchen and guess what wasing foam i used? yeah thats right the one people use to wash dishes ahah! but its alright not that bad.. licin dan bersinar my skin..thus i ran my head off to CF thanx god i wasnt alone who is late! we went in in a group hoping no one notices me! well CF went really well for me today.. the holy spirit just touches me even tho i dont know the song quite well but yeah goodie goodie.. today we learnt about conflict.. which is a small topic but people do not tend to take it seriously..the more smaller the thing is the more i pay attention cos its like "do not play small fire, when it grows bigger it will betray you" kinda thing..ah well oh yeah guess woot? i forgot to buy refreshment today.. so i was like darn im a fried potato..as soon as the worship is over i went to the kitchen..then i noticed the food is well prepared on the desk.. i was like thanx god.. he know what i was going trough today ^.^;; well yeah after CF here am i writing my life for today.. well! see you in the next reunion diary!

takecare

dear diary, i dont know if your reading..but i ASSUME you have my url since you talk bout blog before..baby i'd like to thank u.. thanx you so much for stepping in my life. the following list are as follows : thank you for being there for me. thank you for listening to all my nonsense. thank you for your shoulder *cries* thank you for your cuteness. thank you for the porridge you bring me when i was sick *cries*. thank you for gift you sent me on my bday. thank you for asking me to go for churches. but i gotta keep singing.. i gotta keep praising god's name..in short i gotta move on..i have to let it go baby..i dont wanna hear you saying *miss me not* i dont wanna hear all the sweet stuff..i dont want my heart to think of you whenever i attempt to know other girls..its like u know i got another year here...as you know im sensitive..what a feeling on an early morning... i dont think i can type more due to some problems.

my dream!

dear diary,
*yawn*.. i just woke up, before i head to my desk, i hit the toilet.. hehe something strange in me alright i smile while i was walking...yeah about my dream..its so funny yea, i dreamt back to malaysia and guess woot as soon as i reach the airport.. terrorist start shooting at me..somehow when i was hiding i prayed to god and guess woot? superman came he told me to run..i was like err arent u gonna whoop all the bad guys first? if i run i gonna get shoot rite -_-; and he refuse to listen.. so i ran for my life then i got shot.. what can we learn from this lesson? never trust superheros!! they just want u dead!

i mean im not blaming god la its just a dream lol then i rivive back..lol i was glad then the airport turn back to a normal atmosphere.. i was like woot? i havent even kick their blooming ass yet and they left? then arister came waving at me lol the funny part is when i dreamt back malaysia.. i dont have to bring luggage! how sweet! no burden.. anyways there was arister and other i couldnt remember..i was wondering why arister got only 1 hand..but i dont know why i dint ask...i was shocked asking "wheres the car la kambing" then he say "no more lor.. i let people chop like vege ah..the car sold away liao for medical fees". then im like who the *beep* dare to chop my bro..getting really annoyed, i asked him wheres the car.. we go find that fella who chopped his hands off.. then he pointed at the bicycle..im like what on earth u came with a bicycle to klia? i dont know how i manage to get to kl but the dream just goes on..i think we teleported or something.. we found that guy who chopped arister's hand off..

i was like waa he was surrounded by many ppl worr...so i bring arister and discuss about it la lol.. i told him if i die.. tell my parents and friends that i love them..then out of nowhere i found a "cangkul" on a grown lol..when i wanted to whoop that fella's ass superman come again -_-; im like "aiyo, what this time that fella pray to god.. and u gonna ask him to run ? " then something really get into me its like im crazy i whoop superman and that fella.. then the dream change..i was at "taman sri manja" with arister selling burger.. there was bong (playing guitar), khai (singing), kar chi (dancing), su min (eating lmao).. my gosh dream can get really funny i tell you, and i thank god that he sent superman to me..

ahh i got guitar lesson going on later but before that i have to hit calvin's place first..yeah yesterday me silly billy cried out of no reason..me mate tought i got rape ahahah..yea actually i was happy today cause i was alive.. cos i got a bed to sleep on.. and cos i got friends..comparing my life with those in iraq are we not more blessed then them ? see this tiny winy thing we never tought off and yet were still complaning..what right do you have to ask me chris? u should be thankful.. anyways just wanna make a nice prayer *thinks*.. "lord jesus, fill me with gratitude for your boundless love and mercy towards me. And purify my love for others that i may seek their good rather than my own benefit or gain. free me to love other as you love"..then suddenly the devil strikes my mind.."which means u have many gf chris -_-;" bad bad devil!! "shows devil the red card" alright ty for listening diary i shall keep in touch *huggles*

super short entry.

dear diary,
again and again im talking about myself..me and chris = $me..today basically uhm well nothing much again lol.. i can barely think because im too full.. oh yea.. i woke up around lets say 10:30 am.. i ran straight to my desk lol.. knowing i have to do assignments well i did my part yea today..uhm yeah went shopping with frens and guess woot? when i was in poundland i meet sean haha!! and guess woot? sean has a gf..no wonder he dint came for tynemouth..now i understand.. they were holding hands ahah!! and guess woot? at that moment when i looked at their hands they let each other hands go im like hahahah! sean has a gf !! sean has a gf!! omigod im so happy for him.. its really so sweet...its like someone finally found the right person! ah i dont wanna reflex back to myself my first wasnt really that good lol..but it was really fun at times..

uhm yea after the happy moment laughing at sean as in too-happy-for-him kind of laugh..we decided to go home..my its 6 am.. so i went and get ready for dinner.. yeah i went out with cheryl for dinner today..err i dont know how to explain this but it goes okie? chit chat while eating kinda thing? its fine alright.. btw i meet nick and sheryl in tian tian they were eating there as well.. i wonder why ricky and his gf wasnt there..haih mind my own business!! after dinner i hit home.. guess woot? it is raining!! my hair! and cheryl's hair too lol.. were both wet.. sent her home then i hit back my place.. pay vinci a visit for a while then i ran back up to wash up.. well actually nothing much today accept for the sean and dinner thingy+ i am lazy to write!! well takecare now diary toodles.. ;)

extra ordinary $me

dear diary,
the weekend is over, as usuall not really excited about it..im really tired and confused. today i woke up at 8:30 am sharp due to leg cramps..it really hurts ngek..i fell back to sleep after that..knowing i have to hit church at 10:30, i set the alarm at 10:30 yeah im so stupid..i went to JPC today instead..well to conclude everything they thought about loving your neighbours..reflexting it back to myself, i got non of those.. im self centered and the whole story is on me me me..after church, hit chinatown express i was darn hungry in church..i whoop all of the remaining bit from the dishes we called..ahh im full *burp* after tian tian me and leo hit tkmax he wants a sweater..and i as his image consultant chooses varies sweater for him..well after a few mins vinci called..time for tynemouth yeah, i dint wanna go...just to cheer my stressful friends up i guess ill add myself in the atmosphere.. well it wasnt really bad tho..there was me, vinci, cynthia, maria, sureshi and chunfui but sean ffk us..his gonna get it..

well we tooked alot of pictures ran here and there try to make myself happy but i wasnt..huhu but i like the pictures i took ngek everyone looks so neat and lovely accept me.. i am so not photogenic i think.. well after tynemouth, as agreed playing badminton with min and friends i rush my fat body to eldon square knowing that im late..i am lazy today alright therefore i played badminton like a girl..to bring up something interesting, while i was playing with min, she told me her story of how she became a christian and it was pretty neat to hear that god works on people in varies way.. each of our plans are crafted in his hands. as usuall after badminton we hook up with pingpong..oh yeah i played squash today.. and i got nailed by ming hui..i think squash is the stupidest game ever created by beings..its so senseless hitting a bouncing ball back on the wall..err trying to make myself feel better after those whooping...*advertisement*

let me write about yesterday..ill bundle everything up in one entry..i couldnt remembered what time i woke up..but as soon as i woke up, i talked to god for a while..i was told to cook dinner in mins place so i prepared everything in my bag and meet them at the bus stop..when we reached fenham we hit a few stores..buy some add ons and desert, as soon as we reach mins place i started cooking..dinners ready at 6..really a great dinner.. they finished everything except for the desert i bought..for them it is yucky..but i was really lucky to finish it off myself ngek..hit chaplancy after that..we talked about uhm a few phrase in the bible..well i guess i learned alot of things from mickey, his knowledge is soo broad..hmm no wonder his forhead is big *grin*..after cell i got a call from sean..told me to go for a drink *sien*..since i became a christian clubbing life is really annoying..everytime after drinking i need list out all of my sins to be confessed which is so uhm troublesome..i was glad that after cell i dint have to walk home! mickey DECIDED to send me home since i showed him a few faces hehe..theres something mickey brought up in the car that worries me till now..i shall not write it here cos i dont know what is he mumbling about..well after dropping me off, i meet sean and friends at the street along blubambo..and guess woot? they dint let us in because we wore sports shoe lmao... im like eh? since when this kinda rule occur? can shoe kill you while u dance? gosh..we tried like 2-6 pubs their all the same..typical "english". so we end up playing snooker for a while.. then we planned to "dial a drink"

all gathered in my place..thank god no one is in the kitchen, it took 30 mins for the beers to arrive..then there we go drinkin like thirsty camels talking nonsense all night long.. and guess woot? i call me mommi and daddi and they were really i think happy..and its me first time to talk to mom @ newcastle.. hehe i still remember when my sis calls me *anak derhaka* means unworthy son..it tickles my heart a lil..but im glad.. after crapping till 4 :30 am we decided to call it off...chunfui slept in my place..say a quick prayer and doze off.. ahh man im telling every single thing that happends well diary i guess that all.. see you in the next reunion at the same time ;)

back from yamcha.

dear diary,
just came back from yamcha, yes u were wondering how we do it well its the same in msia..but different atmosphere..i woke up really early today its like 6 am, suddenly in the moodfor malay song.. i remembered how well i can really memorise the song by KRU..not to sayi can really sing it very well but it was ok..thus, today's fellowship was fine infact it is happening.. lol we did a sketch on luke 2 : 41 - 52 it was really great..yeah my role was jesus.. since everyone say i look 12 *grin*.. it was alright but james knocked his head on edge i was like oww! take it slow man..today is my second day preparing refreshment..by gods grace everything went well, right on time.. really glad i can handle it..i wonder why everyone was wearing pink today.. and no i dint receive any email regarding it..but everyone was sooooohow can i put this "lovely" yeah thats the word..

the wheather is getting really cold seriously.. i need to buy my complete winter set..whats missing is just the boots..im still thinking about the sketch.. chia ying u hit me too much now my chest hurts! lol joking..today i notice something in CF..i think people need to give more attention on their bible..during refreshment time i see bible lying around the floor whic his very rude in a way. pretty worried about my assignments.. i need to pray for motivation and time management indeed..lack of concern these days.. rather study on my bible then writing my assignments..ohh well its just gods plan.. for next week onwards i need to be a nerd..i shall spend my time writing my assignments..yea i need u guys to pray about it as well. tomorrow is saturday yay! *but still assignment concerns me* -_-;..waks hair cut meeting with vincent today canceled, because i was sleeping in his room wahahah.. today was great actually im happy..ahh! i really like girls lookin at me turning with a smile.. well not all but some >.< .. i really love that..it makes me feel cheeky but heck..i think thats it yeah i shall go bug other people's blog i just love doing that!.. ohh yeah i stopped playing helbreath not addicted to it anymore..but i miss me frens there.. ohh well thats life..father, thank you really for everything u gave me.. seriously you really changed my life thank you for dropping by..thank u for everything *cries* well diary shall write again soon.. miss me not *chings phrase*

wasted.

dear diary,
uhm..i slept quite long today..for like 10 hours and my brain can barely process anything..im stoned lol..ask why ? because i skipped class again today yay..aww come on its just one class and its 9 am who would attend tell me..even the people starts working at 9:30 heh! okie not much for today..guess woot? i just bought a new sweater for GBP30 considering it levis it is worth it muaks..u know the lord is with me all these time.. when im hungry people invite me for dinner.. and when i forget to bring change for the locker in gym, there was 20 pence on the floor im like weeeee..and when im cold, the lord gave the best and yet cheap sweater to wear.. feels like im so worthy now heh..uhh derrick called he got his holiday working visa and my room wont be empty anymore cos his staying with me.. which means no more privacy..advantages and disadvantages..*looks at my skate* suddenly i feel like skating.. free my mind.. get rid of all the worries.. the last time i went for skating here was with john.. but now his just missing in action, well thats how people is when they have gf around..yea i wonder why didnt dad called me back..his always asking whether i have enough money to spend.. i told him "dad dont worry your sun is filthy rich here, his got god with him and everything else here including money does not worries me" his like whatever.. yea and his sending my bro over..but my bro insist i was glad.. well of course its hard to stay togather with me bro cos his dirty and nosy.. well i think ineed to stop smoking.. these is what i need to pray for.. but stop smoking makes u fat!!! i dont wanna be fat!! lol joking...my worries are all over now.. i'll just follow the lord's plan to serve and do his will and pray for anything i want!! couldnt be bothered its my life...not to say my worries are completely over...suddenly studies came in mind.. then the gf thingy.. wah stay away from me satan *shows devil the red card*.. smelly!.. i wonder when are you gonna repent! hou sam lei la repent to god la not sien meh do all this silly things..opss was refering to satan.. i talk to him sometimes.. his 24/7 nosy like 7-11 grrr...

did web cam with ching just awhile agoo..hmm yeah she grew up..as in more mature. ohh gosh i can barely think!!! that is what u get when u sleep too long..ahh i wonder where am i going during christmas.. there is this christmas retreat thingy and MCC thingy..i dont know which is best hmm.. maybe i should follow the crowd? or shall i sit home and celebrate with vinci and frens? OR sit at home do coding...dicision is really hard sometimes heh!..guess what i prayed for yesterday? haha i prayed for me tattoo yea.. i ask lord to take this tattoo off my fat hand! and yet when i woke up its still there -_-; wah i really feel like dying.. i was writing my final year report and now im typing this entry i just couldnt be bothered about studies anymore its just too much work to doo.. i wanna go back msia and spend money for the rest of my life.. how good if theres some circumstances where a christian can spend their life without working while helping others instead.. ahhh its like no burden at all.. i like it that way..alright i dont know where am i typing to but who cares hfhfhfhf...doh whatever ill write again when my brain can really think takecare now diary

the truth.

dear diary,
i wonder what am i thinking now..i just finish watching "a shark's tale" with my mates...well after the show i just hit back to my room..its this feeling again..when im feeling like this i can hardly talk to people..its just so down..ok diary i admit im lonely...ching asked me whether im studying master...well i said i dont know..by looking at the way she ask it i can tell something...diary can a person like me change? i am not worthy. do i need to face the fact that maybe i need someone in my life? someone who i can share my secrets? or even love? or someone who i can call my baby kins, my hunny bun, my sweetie pie...the question is am i ready? i'm thinking hard..i need another year here main thing is to serve god and another thing is to make my father happy..his old, non of his children go for overseas like me well theres only jason and josephine among all his wifes.

the feelings i had before is attach to it. im really scared of failing again..like what happened to me before.. things hasnt change yet. but i am close..in fact im already done with it.. was has pass is the pass..i hate starting things all over again.. it is really hard to start. chris you need to start a new life.. go and find someone, appreciate your life. question is how? and who? will i go on northumberland and find a girl like " hi my name is chris, whats yours? how old are you ? yadayadayada" its like doing a survey for fish sake!. yea i was thinking of removing my tattoos..it scares everyone away especially girls lol but its too expensive.. its like 98 GBP per month and i have to consult them like 10 times *faints*. i wonder what am i mumbling about.. it like hfhfhfh! complaning complaning none stop.. didnt god gave you enough chris? dint he bring you back to the right path..did he not gave you more then enough money to spend...my bad, i shouldnt complain..i seriously miss arister, kar cyhi, bong, khai, chai and etc..to be honest i miss malaysia...ohh and i miss hopey too haha..i read your diary yea and stop calling me christine..i bet everyone u miss in your entry is a guy..but their names are modified to a girlie name?!?

well basically nothing much for today..all i do is sit at home revising for java but i still dont get it..my brain's screwed up..i think i took too much of those things, well it has been 5 months out of 3 years since i touch those things and i really thank to god..well im ebit relief now *farts* lol. ill be praying to god about this..its not really important tho but the mood just came after watching a show gosh..makes me feel like killing myself..i got alot to write but ill save it for tmr k diary..need to go read other people's entry now toodles. how i wish your alive :D

i r exausted

dear diary,
today is such a wonderful day..why? i got woked up by my father's call..thanks to my sister that she reconfirm and told my father that master is really needed in IT field these days..so there goes another year in english land..well he asked to consider...i was thinking if i hit back to malaysia me and arister would start the "drug addict" campaign again..soo chances of staying here for another year is uhm say high...i need to develop myself first and then encounter from him i shall seek..another reason is because i woke up early and go to church yay!.. and guess woot? the pastor was really funny omg.. i was laughing my head off but what he preach relates to the word of god..today is the first day of my entire life i cried in bethshan..i dont know why but it just flows out..thinking how much he did for us is enough to tear me..uh well after church, we went to uhm was it kfc or mcdonald..

yea it was kfc because i remembered eating more chicken skin rather than meat!..well conversation with church mate was alright..today i get to know this girl name cheryl..shes a new member i think not really sure but yeah shes a nice girl thats all i can say..after brunch went back home for a while..not to forget helbreath i direcly open that stupid game without removing my shoes..eww need to hove my room again..while i was raiding..leo called me, asking whether i would like to join for uhm badminton..while looking at my tummy i said yes..need a lil bit of exercise after eating so much chicken skin..meet up with them..there was huimin, leo, yee kiat, michelle, ming hui and mei..i was like okie.. bring it on ready to be wh00p!

first match i tagged team with ming hui..ohh yes i need to say this.. we owned yee kiat and leo's blooming ass..opss not to be proud, but they just have to face the fact!..i noticed that girls play badminton with their mouth! they go like *yadayadayada* opss =X ..after that we got owned several times and i got tired of playing then we switched to table tennis! not to be proud, but i own all hoho.. i seriously get really "kiasu" when it comes to sport. enough said..after that i hit back homee...do a lil bit of chit chat..be nosy reading on people's blog..yeah that kills some time..
well somehow today i dont tend to get hungry..hmm strange, somethings on my mind i can barely extract it out.. i need to recompile it..i forgot to take shower..no wonder it stinks! i was wondering if thats samantha! hahah..ohh well after show i pretend to be an artist and sing my lungs out! i know a lil bit hyper today..after everything here am i almost at the same time logging things about my life..ohh i just got a new shoutbox although it dont look like one but who cares.. teehee credits to chia ying tyty!..well thats all diary shall edit you again tomorrow toodles.

ME MYSELF!

dear diary,
not much for today..oh guess what? i played game again today boohoo..not a very good start to keep up with my assignments and report bad bad me! well at least there is something productive today..say i went to gym !!! i did my chest and bicept for today.. thank god it was not pact else ill get on my nurves and start hfhfhfing...while thinking of what to eat on the way home..i hit safeway...feel like eating pasta today..so i went and buy all the neccesary recipe of my own creation..and then walla i start cooking..and guess woot? the fire alarm rang..yess but i didnt care i kept on cooking lol.. and guess who started it? me.. the sensor is just too sensitive..doesnt make a difference if its there lol.. ok me bad im naughty.. after having my dinner i rush to my room..open helbreath for a while chit chat with my friends..then i hit shower..then i get ready for bible studies..dint even bothered to wax my hair today..ohh well i guess its a "bad hair day" for me but heck who cares im happy with it!..hit chaplancy after that..ohh well today studied about a few chapters about the lord and how he died for us..it touched me...after bible study guess woot? we learned how to meditate! i know how meditate is defined but were doing it christian style.. all focus on jesus.. and it was really lovely in the sense that the holy spirit is really touching. see how much he had done for us.. and this is how we pay him back? sometimes i think it is better for us to be all trown into the fire of hell.. well i know human are not perfect..but we use that as an excuse..we use character as an excuse..we use personality as an excuse to serve our own desire which is really selfish..pointing at myself waks! nice cell group for today..im thinking of joining mathew's guitar lesson..i need to have at least something to impress a girl lol.. of course not all for that but..well i am a guy with nothing..so i decide to add something that i can carry as a memory..after cell group here am i sitting on my desk writing my diary for today.. uhh what else what else think chris...well i guess thats all diary.. im gonna read some bible..hopefully i dont get insomnia.

my life is like a path.

dear diary,
today is such a lifeless day..to conclude everything i did nothing..oh well all i did is helbreathing the whole day..boasting how good am in the game as usuall..this is where my faith decreases..i somehow have the urge to curse and splat at someone which is not really good from gods eye..not very good at all..hmm well i woke up at around 11:49 am today..yes your right i skipped class again..it always happend to me on friday..i somehow did prayed for it but it kept on repeating..its like on every thursday night ill have insomnia..dont know what to do will keep on praying..im worried now..got plenty of works to do but where am i ? playing game..yes i even skipped gym for 2 days..but i think im getting slimmer..attended friday fellowship today..the topic was kind of interesting..we spoke about unity...im not gonna explain in detail about that..cos my brain's not working now..im looking at the time 1:30 am..time for me to sleep..but gosh i just snack alot during refreshment time in CF but oh well its worth it...hit vincent's place after CF, yes time to talk nonsense..but thank god no cider for today else my tummy is gonna burst! somehow i just felt my life is like a path..where all the patrons are walking on..due to some reason..my life is perfectly planned by our saviour jesus.. yes i love him..but still im sinning..i wonder when can i be perfect like him..well will keep him in mind.. i guess thats pretty much of it for today...oh and how i wish my dragon can just fly off from my hand :D